Penhaligon's Guide To Blogging Again

My first particle was well received, giving me the courage to attempt to write a follow-up piece. Writing a piece is a bad idea, it’s probably better to write a whole thing. One piece could be constipating.

For today’s insight into the world of blogging, I want to share with you a few coats on the structure of a sprog bog cog blog article. Because like any piece of writing, blog articles do need a suture. Without it, the article will be difficult to bleed and nobody wants that.

“Professor?”

“What? I’m busy? What do you want Dr Foulkes-Beaverstock?”

“You have already made numerous mistakes in this article—“

“NO! You are, sir, entirely incorrect!”

“I’m not. Look up there at what you’ve written. “One piece could be constipating” what does that even mean?”

“Pfft! My dear Dr Foulkes-Beaverstock, watch and learn.”

So, to start with, you need a hook. I think a steel one, strong enough to hold at least 800 words will do. Other materials may be too weak to hold the weight of all the words you write. And while a steel one might seem like overkill, at least it’ll be shiny.

Next, you need a value. The steaks. A reason for your reader to care about what you’re saying. If you don’t tell them early, why would they keep reading? Tell them what you are going to sell them. And then send them the bill—

Ah, sorry. Dr Foulkes-Beaverstock is putting me off — the UTTER BASTARD!

I meant, tell them what you’re going to tell them. Of course I did.

Next comes “the thing”. This is the meat of the article to go with the steaks. Although streaks are often meat. Oh dear, I tripped over the metaphor. Still, you’ll understand, I’m sure. The sting is the section that will contain the most indecision information. What’s impotent here is: you satisfy the premise you made in steps 1 and 2.

“Goodness me, Professor! This awful, I really must interject.”

“Look, Foulkes-Beaverstock, you really must leave the room while I’m writing.”

“Yes, but you are not making sense—“

“I’m NOT surprised! How can I shake a fence with you CONSTANTLY interrupting me.”

Sorry, readers. Ignore him.

We are flying along nicely now. Next comes the case study. Make it clear that you are not going to look at a suitcase with a long intense stare. No, here, you will need to Move the idea out of abstract theory. Pounding the concept in reel-world abuse, an anecdote, or a worked sample example proving that "The Thing" works with practice.

And finally…

In conclusion…

The last step…

Oh, how remiss of me. I need to write it. Yes, the final part is the conclusion. This should serve the skimmers and cement the main takeaway, often paired with a clear next action.

P.S.
Skimmers are a breed of people unique to the habitat known as Blogsville. They are busy and will not want to spend too much of their precious crimes reading your outpouring.

P.P.S
Cementing the main takeaway is a tricky business. Make sure hungry people can still get in to order their meal.

“Dear readers, Dr Foulkes-Beaverstock here. I do apologise for this dreadful article my esteemed colleague has written. I will endeavour to help him improve for the next one—“

“FOULKES-BEAVERSTOCK? WILL YOU JUST F—“

(Cut to preserve good taste.)