The Big Idea

It's late on Friday evening. My brain is looking forward to sleep. My fingers and wrists are aching from typing but the idea won't shut up. 

Do your ideas talk to you? Mine do. Not out loud. That'd be mad. No, mine speak to me in my mind. And this one is insistent that I write it — now. Tiredness can do one. Or two. 

Right, the idea. It's this. Ideas are like living things. When they are sudden and vivid. It's like straining your eyes to see into the distance. And then someone handing you a pair of binoculars. In that second moment, you can see. The first moment involves twiddling the knob to focus the damn things.

I remember once, having a pair of 8x30 binoculars (is this bit going to long? Binoculars is a hard word to spell). They were fine. But not very powerful. I was only a young fella. And out observing a kestrel over the fields of Warwickshire. My uncle had a pair of 15x70 binoculars. Here's what happened.

—Ooh look at the plumage! Stunning. D'yer see it?

—Yes. Looks great, I said. Only seeing the bird hovering above the field. 

—Ah, now, watch him spot the prey.

—Yep, he's right there, I said. Without a clue what prey the Kestrel was eyeing up. 

—See the field mouse there? He's lunch I'm afraid. 

—Er, right. 

I saw the Kestrel swoop in, grab the mouse (I assumed) and sail off to a tree further away. 

—Ah, he's enjoying that! Can you see?

—Er, no. 

—Look, lad! Look, he's right there in the tree!

—Which tree?

My uncle glanced at me and my small binoculars. And shook his head. 

—Using those is liking using a toothbrush to emulsion a wall. 

He handed me his. I took a look through them. And almost crapped my pants. The Kestrel gave me a look that suggested I was next after the field mouse. 

The idea that arrived this evening was about how some ideas are so vivid and clear, you have to write them. Like the time I stood at the kitchen sink washing dishes. 

It bored me. So I imagined the fairy Liquid suds were actually fish farts. Then, out of nowhere, a thought. It flashed across my mind. 

The Empire strikes a match

Much as I like Star Wars, I hadn't been thinking about it in that moment. Oh, but then I did. The idea carried on whether I was ready for it or not. 

CAPTAIN PIET:
Er, why has it gone dark?

DARTH VADAR:
I sense a problem in the force. Or, we haven’t paid the electricity bill.

CAPTAIN PIET:
I told Captain Needa to pay it the other day. 

DARTH VADAR:
Bring him to me…

Or something like that. But it gets worse. While that scene formed in my head, another character turned up. His name? A Phantom called Dennis. He was riding a speeder and throwing random thoughts around. Aha! So, now I know where the idea came from. 

Back to the point. The mysterious tales from a distant galaxy were great. And the summoning of characters during a Galactic civil war.  But I still had to finish the dishes. And those farting fish didn't have a notebook or a pen. 

I seem to have forgotten what the next point was. So talk amongst yourselves while I find it…

Ah, there it is. The point was hiding behind the sofa. Yes, some people may think this style of writing out an idea is daft. And outdated. 

That’s an interesting word. ‘Outdated’. I sometimes think it means a calendar hanging out on the street, or in a back garden. Anyway, ideas are great (I'm being nice so this one lets me go to bed). 

Good night if it's night, good day if it's day. Look out of the window if you're not sure.